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Originally Posted by Moment
I could agree to changing the venue of therapy, like if he came to my bedside when I was hospitalized.
But I would not agree to, say, going to a baseball game together or just hanging out. Even if I would be partly thrilled if he would ask me, I would feel it was highly inappropriate and we'd have to have a conversation about how crazy that would be. I wouldn't do it.
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Thank you for your perspective, it is crazy and inappropriate, I think that perfectly describes my ex t.
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Originally Posted by lolagrace
Only after we were no longer doing therapy. I've gone out for lunch with former therapists AFTER we had finished (several years later) when one of us happened to be in town.
The only exception to that was with my second therapist who happened to also be one of the pastors of my church. We worked together on several church projects not related to therapy. I knew him before I started therapy with him though and had worked on projects for church previously with him, so it really didn't have any weirdness to me -- just more of the same. I never felt like those activities spilled over into my therapy (or vice versa). They were things like summer vacation Bible school, musical service coordination, Habitat for Humanity, etc., and I was one of many volunteers he worked with. I didn't feel like it was special treatment or that he was getting anything out of it.
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Thanks for this Lola, I imagine it could be handled ethically and appropriately and it could also be mutually beneficial for both you and your therapist.
I am sure that therapists can have a dual relationship with their clients but I think their attitude around how they handle it could cause a lot of problems.
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Originally Posted by Elio
I think it would depend on the situation. I asked my T to visit me in the hospital after my top surgery. That was a me ask, not T ask. I think if she was to ask me to attend some conference or presentation with her about a topic that we are dealing with, then yeah I think it would be fine.
There have been times where I have wanted her time outside of session - so my initial response to the question was.. heck yeah. Then after a short pause or 2, I was to.. no way, that would be weird.
There are some things outside of the therapy office room I would like her to be there for/help with - all of those have a therapy related purpose and again would be me initiated. I would wonder what she got out of these meetings and what prompted them. It could have been just a matter of logistics on her end or it could have been something totally different.
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I wonder what my t got out of it. I think sometimes she gets lonely and needs some connection. I found myself craving her time too but now I know why it has to be only an hour a week and we can never be friends.
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Originally Posted by Myrto
No. I would not. The therapy room is supposed to be the safe and consistent place you get to express your thoughts in. Therapists are not supposed to meet their clients at a restaurant, a cooffee place or a park. In my country, that behaviour would definitely be unethical. How could confidentiality be maintained in a public place?
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You are so right, once you meet in a public place therapy becomes unpredictable and unmanageable and your anonymity is forgotten. A t could never guarantee confidentiality in a public place.
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Originally Posted by junkDNA
We have before but the nature of our relationship at the time was unconventional
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Is it more conventional now?
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Originally Posted by Miss Laura
I would but it will definitely never happen. I think she would be a sound person to meet up with.
I have met ex support worker for coffee and a catch up about 3 times its never been weird at all.... hoping to meet up with her again soon
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Sounds like a very positive experience.
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Originally Posted by Xynesthesia
No and I would not with the two I have seen. I did not end the therapy sharp and have a deal with both of my Ts that I can go see them again occasionally or even regularly in the future if I want, so they are still therapists for me and I would not mix causal socializing into that.
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That's good boundaries [emoji4]