Quote:
Originally Posted by Robnew
Well yes Cielpur, of course you're right. That said, I doubt she enjoys the back and forth any more than I do.
Personally I hate playing games, and will happily leave someone to it if that's what they're doing. However, it's tougher when someone's insecurities are the cause.
As an example, after a happy dinner, I went to pay and said I'd walk her home, as I knew she needed an early night. Without explanation she got upset and snapped at me. I was confused until she explained that her immediate thought was that I was trying to get rid of her early, and so she reacted.
So, whilst I agree with what you're saying, it's harder when you know that the underlying reasons come not from a desire to be difficult, but are about being insecure, uncertain and scared.
Of course I could cut through all the bs by being direct, but that's impossible whilst I'm being ignored.
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The fact that it's been a month of no contact, is her direct way of telling you she's through with the relationship. Like I wrote in my previous post, if two people want to reconcile they just do it; no excuses or reasons will prevent that reconciliation when both people want that same thing.
Her studies, her busy lifestyle, her insecurities; while those are all legitimate, they are also convenient excuses she uses to keep you at a distance, which I think is manipulative, even if it's unintentional on her part (but I don't know her, so I can't say).
So, I think any more communication from you at this point, may not be useful even if it's a direct email with an ultimatum from you, which would be uncharacteristic since you are very laid back.
From what you wrote about your previous breakup, it sounds like this is a case of history repeating itself. She ran from you before, and waited for you to contact her again before she returned to you and to the relationship.
I know that is must be hard to be in this limbo that you're in, once more with her. How many more "limbos" can you put up with, before you decide that you need to permanently end things with this woman, so that you can move on to someone else who doesn't have the same insecurities as she does, and doesn't need to run when she wrongly perceives something you say to her. I hope you can find peace with this situation.