ive noticed that in the past couple years, since i left my ex who was abusive, i am terrified of everything. i know that its probably PTSD thats giving me nightmares and waking me up at night but im terrified all day. Im scared when I take the trash out that some guy is hiding behind the dumpster ready to kill me. Im always afraid there is someone behind me. Any place I cant see, Im terrified that there is someone there. After I watch a scary movie I have to have my boyfriend go around the house and turn on all the lights. Even if I dont watch a scary movie sometimes i still have to do this. The closet, bathroom. Im terrified to be at home by myself.

heres the worst part... Im covered under UH. but its my moms policy. there are so many therapy visits you can have every year and i would want to go to a therapist and work through my ptsd but that means I have to tell my mom that was ex hit me. Whats even worse is that i was 17 and he was 27. I know she probably wouldnt, but I feel like its going to be a "well i told you never to date him anyways" kinda thing. Im really scared to tell her but I hate always being afraid.