I'm really sorry to hear your are dealing with this abuse. You don't deserve it just because he has a mental illness. Mental illness is an explanation, not an excuse. Always remember that. You deserve better than this. I'm wishing you the best of luck. I do not have much advice for you because the only person who I dealt with who had borderline personality disorder lived far away and I cut off all contact because it was too toxic for me. But I can send you good vibes.