This entire thread ... is ... so poignant, so ME. Reading through it, it appears MANY of us feel the same way, i.e., we care SOOOOOOOOO much for everybody else and not even a little for ourselves. That's me.

So maybe I'm not alone in my feeling that everybody else should have everything they need/want/desire and I shouldn't have ANYTHING i need/want/desire.

Christmas. As a kid, of course i liked getting presents. But i always wanted to be Santa. I wanted to GIVE the presents, not get them. This has been a part of me my entire life. And now, here, at what is likely the end of my life, i find myself only wanting to ANONYMOUSLY give things away and help people. I don't understand this emotion or it's source but it brings me to my knees and brings me to tears ... i only want everybody else to be happy, to see the beauty of life. I want none of that for myself.