My last therapist was very secretive and blank slate. She didn't share any thoughts or feelings and only told me two little anecdotes that were slightly personal the entire time I saw her. During the time that I saw her I found the relationship more and more difficult. I found it hard to feel a human connection with her. I felt somehow to be 'other' in my relationship with her. I felt rejected. Looking back I wonder if it was a power thing. I also think that perhaps my T had her own stuff that meant that she couldn't be very real with me. I think that there are ways that we, as humans, make connections with each other and build secure relationships, and that can involve connecting about trivial things like colours, in the process of talking about such things we might smile or laugh and that is how we build a relationship. My old T never smiled or laughed with me. I think that T's should think about how to build a secure relationship, it doesn't just happen. Thankfully my new T is completely different.