What happened was not your fault. You definitely deserve compassion on yourself and you didn't do anything wrong. You can get things back on track. I can relate to your situation so if you ever need someone to listen, feel free to PM me anytime.

I recommend taking small steps. When I started out again, it took a little time but I slowly took small steps and found my employer last March.

That was after a big gap in employment. I just tried to stay focused on the future and had to learn to stop beating myself up about the past.