I think I understand where you are coming from. Some people are so enmeshed in a drinking culture that they can feel surrounded. Too, drinking for these folks is so automatic that saying you don't drink is like saying you'd rather not have air, thank you very much. Sometimes you can pick your friends and companions but not so in your case it sounds like, because you are surrounded at his sporting events. I get it - I live on an Indian reservation and I'm an alcoholic who chose sobriety twenty-five years and two days ago. I too am surrounded - drinking is so ingrained in the culture that I'm smack dab in the middle of.

Well you're kind of limiting yourself here by taking the obvious answer off the table. I think that you'll find that honestly answering the question, "Why do I not want them to know that I'm a problem drinker?" will open a lot of doors for you.

While I have no problem telling people that I don't drink because I'm an alcoholic, it's that 'no problem' aspect that makes it go so much smoother. Confidence wins people over. The conversation usually goes something like this:

I've had my share already. Heck, I had some other poor guys share too cause he didn't move fast enough.

Invariably, someone, even if they don't mean it, will say something along the lines of, "Good for you!" At which point I say, "Good for me? You have no idea - it's not just good for me, it's good for everyone in the state that I quit drinking..."

I probably overuse humor, but just being matter-of-fact really is usually enough for people. I do it with my mental health issues as well. I've got DID...and just about everyone knows it. I'd say that's at least as big of a 'secret' as alcoholism or problem drinker. The barista's at Starbucks ask me when I come in, who the drink is for. Everyone at work knows and when they found out that my little gets an allowance, they docked my pay $20 and give her an envelope on payday too.

Confident and matter of fact works wonders...ever hear someone talk about going into a restricted area like the supervisor offices at the DMV to talk directly to them or something like that? The advise is always, "Just walk back there like you own the place and no one will say a word." It's true more times than not. Anyway, I'm rambling - good luck!