Brought it upon yourself , I guess he missed the fact that women can live full happy complete lives with no pregnancy risk by themselves, only men can be stupid enough to believe that pregnancy occurs in a vacuum , having regret is in our nature ,but you have no reason to ferl shame, deppresion straight is a medical condition, add preganancy and all the changes your body goes thru to accomodate a child,post partum can really be devasting , you should not be ashamed of anything, you survived ,and are raising two little ones , you should walk proudly, head held high being a survivor , love yourself as much as you do the kiddos , you have survived things that men wouldn't, and I can say that because I am a man , men leave the heavy lifting to women ,celebrate what you have and will achieve , the odds were stacked against you , you fought and prevailed in a war within your own body , a war of invisable suffering to those around ýou , no shame for you !