I push people away in the past. I regret not getting the help that I desparately needed. I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do, it was all for them. I wanted people to have good memories of me. Now, I am lonely, I don't have any close friends. My best friends live fun fulfilled lifes while I feel miserable. I push people away to this day, it has been 15 years.

Go get help my friend, talk to a psychiatrist and open up to somebody. Before it is too late...