I don't know that I'd describe the struggle as a lack of control, but for me it's more so the idea that T has a life outside of us, that he won't miss me, he'll forget me, etc. I look at vacation as an abandonment of sorts.

My T is going on vacation in July. What I'm going to do is try to plan a vacation around the same time. May go on a girl's weekend, may go visit my parents. T couldn't have picked the worst month to vacation. I'll be off of work the entire month. Ack.