I've been on it for 6 or 7 months, 10mg. AFter gaining 20 pounds and barely being able to socialize anymore because I can't keep up with multiple conversations and my brain is in a haze I decided I am going off it. I told my doctor (at that point I had already cut it from 10 to 5mg) and he wasn't real keen on the idea and said "you have to take something". I said it's a good PRN but it's ruining my life. Anyway so at even the 10 to 5 cut I had extreme mood lability and found myself furious at everyone and everything. I told one of my best friends to **** off, my mom came to visit and I could not even be in the same room with her because I was about to explode. I started taking klonopin PRN again (daily). I had come off of klonopin a few months prior (and used prn zyprexa to help with that). It helped some and I did balance out some. I moved forward with the taper and went to 2.5 or close to (cutting a 10mg in half, in half). I've mostly been in a rage more often than not since. Which only makes me more pissed off. I didn't take it at all last night. I had violent dreams and when I woke up I started screaming that I basically hate everyone. I was fixated on my father which has happened a few times lately and I basically was screaming I ****ing hate you and am never talking to you again. There are some decent reasons for my frustration with him but it's not me at all to be like this. I'm a very calm and reasonable kind of guy. THis is not me at all, it's zyprexa withdrawal, and this is total ******** to have these symptoms coming off it. This is not 'a return of symptoms' as modern psychiatry would say. It's withdrawal and it's nasty. This is why I wanted off of it to begin with, because I was not comfortable with what it's doing to my mind and body. The final straw was MD saying "would you want to take metformin" for the weight gain. NOPE. I'm not taking meds for side effects from other meds. That is completely riduculous. I want my life back is what I want. And this is not it. Yes, I had a manic episode last summer that did a major number on me and took months and months to heal from and in general I've had a hard time functioning period since I had a meltdown about 3 years ago. I've lost two jobs, I'm on SSDI now, my income is less than twenty-five percent what it used to be. It's maddening. I was in school full-time alongside work, and doing great at both, when I got sick. It's just incredibly frustrating and I want this to end but am now resigned to the fact that this may only be the beginning of true withdrawal since I stopped completely last night. Maybe I'm wrong. I hope. So what are my options? Dope myself up with Klonopin till it passes? My experience with klonopin is that if I take it several days in a row PRN, I then have withdrawal syptoms from stopping it and it messes with my sleep. And I already got off of klonopin. I want off everything period though I'm much much less concerned with lamictal and trileptal. SO to recap, I feel like I want to destroy my house and the intensity of this has gotten worse and worse the last couple days. This is not me. This is medication withdrawal and it's total ********. Sorry for the cursing. And I mostly just needed to get this out so thanks for reading and I'm ALL EARS if anyone has any guidance, etc. Thanks.