I always say, that you can't choose who you love. Whether that be a significant other, friend, or therapist. Unfortunately, some of those relationships make it more difficult because that same level of love may not be reciprocated ... but either way, its a learning process. I don't think anyone makes a conscious decision to "love" their T ... it just happens- as with any other relationship in life.
I'm sorry if you have felt hurt by relationship(s) with your T(s)'s ... but they are ordinary people after all, and i do believe that a connection with a T isn't only one-sided. No, maybe not a completely mutual relationship, but I find it hard to believe someone can develop such connections if the other person doesn't at least care for them in some way.