Dear T.

I spent some time with the little one today. We watched that movie, and had popcorn and bought a magazine for her age range. We cried at the end of the film. Cried because she saw her truth.

She wrote this.

I wanted my Mum. I needed my Mum and yet there was nothing I could do about it. I feel as if I am tumbling backwards, into and round and about nothing. Blackness. No idea which way is up or which way is down or where anything is anymore. Tears escaping without me realising, forced out by the unfulfillable longing which is bursting inside me, taking up every cell in my body. I am frozen by helplessness for a situation out of my control, yet with a flickering urge to scream and rage about the unfairness of it all.

She holds all of this and it is time for us to really help her to let it out. Problem is, I don't know how to do this other than to continue on this slow path that we are on. Maybe this is the only way.