When I had a plan...and the means. I didn't think of myself as being selfish. I NEEDED this to escape the intense pain. I considered the sadness of those who were left behind, but my need to escape the pain was paramount.

I never once considered those outside my immediate family....I simply didn't think they would care or notice.

In some sick, twisted way...I would feel worse to have an effect on those I don't know. And who have no inkling as to WHY I did it....
I know this thinking is wrong and probably not understandable to most. It just is what I feel.