Thanks for replying even though I didn't write anything

It's just interesting... how subtle their mistreatment of me is. For example, casual remarks about my appearance that make me want to claw my skin off. I've been away at college, and I feel... too big for my family, like I have to shrink myself to sit at the table with them.

We're a family that suppresses everything. Our horrible past has been swept under the rug. My time away has allowed everything to settle, but there are still times when I remember how our dynamic spiraled into something SO unhealthy. I remember all the neglect and abuse.... It's almost jarring.

I came home so on guard. I am still on guard, holding onto my mask. But they don't understand me anyway, and they never will.

Mostly, though, I feel invisible. My presence is just a cancerous thing that makes people sick...