[Please note that I get pretty explicit in this post]

A devastating experience happened a few months ago that has resulted in ruining my sex drive, among other things. Here's what happened

I met a woman online to consider having an FWB relationship. It was never intended to be romantic, just fun sex for us. So we met in person. She was the sexiest woman I've ever known, by far. I fell head over heels in lust with her. She rejected me. She wasn't mean about it, she just said she didn't feel an attraction.

I was, and am, absolutely devastated. My disappointment is way, way beyond anything I ever thought it would be if she rejected me. I've been rejected by women many times. This time has been one of the most awful experiences of my life. I'm still trying to figure out why.

One of the effects has been an almost complete loss of sex drive. I no longer get erections and I don't masturbate. Sometimes I try to masturbate just to check if I still can. I can't, I just can't get aroused. I haven't orgasmed in several months. I haven't gone that long since I first started masturbating in puberty.

I do still feel attraction to women, as much as ever. On the rare occasions that I feel like I might develop a relationship with a woman some of my sex drive returns, though not much. I might get a partial erection. I don't get a full erection or masturbate.

Part of the problem is that one of my medications (Lamotrogine) causes erectile dysfunction. However, I've been taking Lamotrogine for years and never had this much problem. I think a good roll in the hay would do wonders for this situation, but that doesn't seem to be in the offing any time soon.

I've come to feel like my penis is just a useless thing hanging between my legs. It's just for bodily functions. It's no longer for fun like it used to be. I feel emasculated.

Has anybody else had this experience? Advice would be nice, but sympathy is needed too.