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idk....its all so complicated.
I have learned to enjoy myself sober. But not with a bunch of people who are revolving it all around drinking and the fake closeness it provides everyone with. You feel like the stranger next door is your closest friend when you are both drinking together.
I am a introvert by nature but alcohol changes me to a fantastic extrovert. I am every ones best friend....until I keep drinking then not so much lol....
I am still getting over being angry I just can't be like other people what with being sober AND being bipolar.
I fear what people will think of not me but me as my sons mother
I fear he will get hurt if he is not included and that's means me socializing
I fear he cant have the "all American life" because of my differences
I fear
I fear
I fear
__________________
I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning, I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own
I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!
One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand
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