In a really soft voice he would say, "What's going on." He wouldn't say it like a question, though-- more like a statement.

He would lean forward a bit.

And then he would let me cry. He would have the saddest look in his eyes, but he wouldn't say anything-- we would share in the non-verbals of my sadness-- and he would just give me time to experience my feelings. He would be looking at me intensely the whole time.

Then he would want to bring me into the present so that he can join me. Even though we both know what the distress is about, there is always more to explore. So after a certain period of time in sharing in the non-verbals, he would say, "Look at me" and point at his eyes.

And then we would begin to talk.