Yes - I know it's just a job to those people, and I think many of them are misandrists as well, which is shocking. The way many of them behaved in my presence was hardly lady like behavior, in my eyes. Half of the women I seen acted like prison screws with the worst mannerisms, and some of them had a cold icy look, like I'd be beaten up if I crossed them. They probably take drugs. In fact, I belatedly left one woman bad feedback as I left her place feeling like she took my dignity away. She really was that nasty, and she actually denied ever seeing me. As they will. Also, that ladyboy I seen also sent me a barrage of nasty messages like she was high on something (which is so uncharacteristic of our initial meeting). So in retrospect, my first time with a transsexual feels ruined now, even though she was initially wonderful.

The only reason I see the Polish lady that I do is because I had a good shag with her, years ago. And I do mean years ago. I've saw her many times since then, and it's been a true waste of my cash. Today, I sent her a text message saying I'm taken a break. She usually just has to give me hand relief. I'm never aroused. When you penetrate someone, you're supposed to feel sexually excited, right? But I don't. There's also the added hassle of having to travel around, and I get anxiety so bad these days, that I'd rather not use public transport. I'm not allowed to bring women like that into my parents' house either. Sadly, I have issues trying to get accommodation elsewhere, and I generally feel very fed up now with practically everything in my life that I used to enjoy, due to a magnitude of stressful situations.

Since that one good time with her, I've never been able to hardly do a thing with women, as I described above. When you're that unlucky, it's pointless handing over £100 or more. Regardless of what one pays, it's so silly if the sex does nothing for them. There have been some women who have been attractive, and I never had issues with getting an erection when I was a teenager, despite not having sex until I was 22 and this was in a sauna (she was nasty too, because she knew I was a virgin). Now it is so hard, even with impotence drugs, to screw anyone. Some of these women don't even use real lube. They apply stuff to their genitals like Savlon antiseptic cream, baby oil and coconut oil. Seriously!

When I leave that Polish woman's flat, I feel immensely dumb, like I'm not a real man. It's not like I have any savings either, so it's a big loss financially to carry on doing this like a fool. When I actually spoke to my doctor about all of this stuff, all he did was try to prescribe beta blockers (for anxiety) because I was convicted of stalking support workers, so he refused to give me Vigara, even after I had it prescribed many times from the same surgery, and they obviously know about all that chaos to do with the court matters. His manager lied for him recently when I called to complain about how I was treated and embarrassed, and she said I've not had it prescribed from there by any of the doctors, since 2015 (which is a lie).

The women I've seen all notice I have a baggy foreskin too, which my now ex-doc says is just 'the foreskin God gave you' like his idiot opinions matter to me. Do they hell? He also accused my sister of exaggerating about her bowel disease and wanted her to take a gluten test, even after unaffiliated hospital staff warned her that is unwise. My family members also got letters saying we've to move because we live too far away, when we do not.

Anyway, thanks for the reply.