Wants2Fly wrote,

"My Ts have explained that I am an introvert. We are a minority & need time to refresh ourselves after being with people. Extroverts are 'energized' by being with people."

Hi Wants2Fly,

I found all of your post helpful, and just selected this little bit as it strikes a chord for me.

I am sick to death of the mantra that 'to be OK you have to be around people' . I can put on the act, and mix in, but I am always tired out by the force of other people's egos. There is no energising effect for me, and I so understand the point you make that we have to 'refresh ourselves' after being with people (especially extroverts, or people anxiously pretending to be extroverts).

I have a counsellor friend, who I have known for a long time, and she is always giving me this 'mix in with people' stuff. She regards relationships as the be all and end all of life.
What she overlooks is that her own intimate relationships tear her apart - she is now going through her fourth horrible relationship break up since I first knew her. It's an agony to watch, although I help as much as I can. This time it's her marriage that's coming apart. She can't give up her obsession that's she is going to find her answer inside someone else. I've tried to talk to her about this in the past but she blocks me off, she won't go there.

If being a so called 'people person' can be so destructive to self and others, what is the harm in staying on the sidelines?

Wants2Fly, being a self contained person is not second class in any way. I too have been called a 'loner' by thoughtless people I knew, and more than once I have been the only one there for them when they were in trouble.

Good thoughts to you. Myzen

PS - A Buddhist monk once wrote "The enlightened person has no friends and no enemies". I think I am just beginning to understand the wisdom of these words.