Hello, Happy Mother's day. I don't really know what I'm looking for in posting this. I'm not sure it's healthy for me to keep sharing, but I'm not doing too well right now and haven't been, with varying degrees of tolerability, for now over 7 months. Lately the most pressing problem is insomnia, as I seem to be at best getting adequate sleep every other night. Those of you who have talked to me have probably heard me share my worries about my medications and that I haven't enjoyed music much since I've been on them. It seems to be a repeat of history in a long process that happens after I go cold turkey on my meds, but the last time, I recovered pretty well in 6 months. This time is continuing to break records. I now know never to go cold turkey on meds again, but I'm also afraid that I'm not going to recover my interest in things, my drive to learn, my basic emotions, and ability move forward with my life. There seems to be nothing but insomnia and painful med changes in my near future, so I'm feeling discouraged and also just hope that I sleep tonight. My recovery happened once, so I hope it can happen again.