Quote:
Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend
Not anger... my desire for self preservation.
All animals in the wild more or less screw each other over for their selfish desire for survival; the wolf eats the sheep so it doesn't starve, hyenas fight among each other to establish who is stronger, great white sharks devour each other in the womb so the strongest one emerges, ETC.
Why should humans be any different? Because we're sentient? Because we're evolved? Because we're "better" than the animals? Guess what? We're not. We're just glorified apes with higher intelligence instead of massive strength, claws, fangs, or anything else. We're not more evolved or more advanced if you will because if we were, we wouldn't have so many wars and widespread suffering in the world which could all be prevented if humans weren't so selfish.
I'm no different than any other animal; my desire for self preservation takes priority over anything else for me.
Right now it is becoming more and more clear that I won't get the help that I need as long as I reside in this state not just because the mental health system here is utterly terrible but also because people here are so freaking stupid and don't understand me. I will never fit in or be accepted as long as I reside here because I'm nothing like the vast majority of the people who live here.
I need to be ready to fight tooth and nail for my place in this world no matter the cost. If I can't do that, than I'm too weak and deserve to suffer.
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I still know little about you, my first post was based solely on your initial post....Now that I've read a few more in this thread I feel obligated to mention that both the mental health system and people, can and often do SUCK everywhere.
Caring accessible healthcare, just like decent kind people, is the exception (based mostly on good luck) and not the rule ANYWHERE.
Trust me, I've lived and experienced life in many different places + situations, and the reality (my expectations) is often surprising (unpredictable)...
So since you're making plans for "self- preservation" I hope you realize focusing on location and "type of people THERE", etc. is certain to be setting yourself up for disappointment.
It's not that making changes (place you are or with) isn't often a good idea,
but that imaginary place where all people act decent, healthcare is always high quality, etc, simply exists nowhere.
For self-preservation, you only can focus on what's within YOU, and hope (or prayer if u do) that some external good things may happen too (mostly luck and careful planning, with the perfect timing). Life is always unpredictable -
This world is a dangerous jungle, and humans ((IMO) often behave worse than animals (because animals are much more predictable)...
BUT sometimes, it just takes 1 or 2 symbiotic relationships in your life, that can change or improve everything for the better.
Humans are very different than animals, which can be both good and bad.
I just hope u realize force + strength is not always a requirement for self preservation-
Symbiotic relationships, that benefits them both, , even for many animals is a requirement for survival
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I wish you the best, and sense you have the determination to succeed and survive regardless of the unknown that comes your way; Just want you to know that even thoygh you may not feel empathy, or concern or trust for others, MANY feel empathetic towards you, which means they want the best outcomes for you, which is often stronger feeling than the usual selfishness all people + animals must have, to also survive.
Think SYMBIOTIC and MUTUALISM with your planning. It may open some doirs u didn't even know existed.
Btw, This advice is coming from somebody who is completely and totally alone.. So alone that it could take weeks or maybe months before anybody would even notice if I died. And I'm mentioning that so you realize that necessity for being symbiotic (joining with others for mutually beneficial outcomes,
Is not because I have a great or caring doctor, husband, friend or anybody (I don't), is just necessary for human survival and preservation, both emotional and physical.