So normally I post in the anxiety threads because that's my main issue, but my anxiety has been out of control for too long that I am now in a state of depression. I've been here before too. And I know when it happens because the thoughts start. The bad thoughts. Like maybe I'll get in a car accident and hurt myself bad enough I won't have to work today. Or I'll wake up in a good mood and think to myself "whoa, slow down on the happy, because when your day turns to **** you will feel foolish for having felt so good." All my anxiety and depression is from work stress and idk what to do about it. I actually just left a job that made my anxiety and depression out of control. And this new job was suppose to be better. I left to work for a wonderful, nice boss. And she is. But that's the thing.... I have fear and anxiety that I will do something wrong and disappoint her. I have a general fear about disappointing anyone. And when stuff does go wrong, my fault or not, I go into a spiral of depression and self hate. And it's bad. Friday I had to go to the bathroom probably 6 or 7 times throughout my day to cry in private. My next step is to go to my doctor to discuss my depression/anxiety medications and I may want to look into finding a therapist. But idk how much that'll cost and me and my boyfriend want to buy a house in the near future. Which is also stressing me out because it makes me feel stuck in this job that is giving me major emotional issues because I need a job right now for a mortgage approval