It's a great thing that your verbalizing your feelings in this forum and like others said it might be of benefit to see a therapist as well. I do both in order to keep afloat. It's hard to go through life feeling alone and not feeling like you can trust others. It starts affecting so many areas of your life. Perhaps you see yourself in that fashion but others might not. I have low self esteem and think that I'm horrible at everything I do. Others might think otherwise.