This could be triggering.

My dad died 7 years ago. I want to say that I miss him. I don't. I cried for 3 days when he died. I cried for what I did not have when he was here. It broke my heart.

My mom is in poor health. She is in a swing bed facility. I have no idea if she will come out of it and be on her own again.

Do I miss my dad? No. No I do not. There is no feeling of missing him at all. There is a desire to miss him. I wish I did.

My mom. Will I miss her when she ... I don't think I will. There are no memories for me to look back on and miss. There are memories of me not being what I should have been.

My brother is more workable and more dependent on her. He's not the disobedient, defiant and willful one that I guess I am.

Does this make me a bad person? I want things to be different but I can't change other people. Am I wrong to feel the way I feel?