No, you are not wrong. I think how you feel right now is how people feel when their parents didn't do at least a 'good enough' job of parenting. Personally I am terrified of my parents falling ill. They are elderly and it is going to happen at some point. I do not want to care for them. the thought of it makes me ill. It will be expected of me.
I am more terrified of their funerals. not because i will be sad for them and not because I will be sad for me (I will feel great relief). I am terrified because I will be expected to speak with their friends at the funeral and tolerate hearing how wonderful they are and be expected to say nice things about them or act sad or something. I will have to act and I know I will not feel like doing that at all.
From what I have read on here you are a very kind considerate and thoughtful human being. So kind considerate and thoughtful that you are willing to make yourself out to be the bad guy so that others don't have to.
You can't miss something you never had. But you can grieve for what was needed but never given.