iunno whats up with the being played thread... its not letting me go to the last page...

im just having really bad anxiety. i have somatization disorder, so i guess that means i have a lot of physical stuff happen with my anxiety... im being electrocuted... these zaps, shocks... are making me feel really sick... on top of the anxiety.

im afraid that im going to slip away again... i can feel the irritability... things inside beating on the walls... screaming...
how can i focus like this...? im afraid im losing my focus... im really so stressed out you guys.. im so tired of living like this i cant take it, im so motivated to make change but the inside of me is so ... much in upheaval... change, change is not safe. change is scary, but i have to make change!
change can be good! change can make everything better... i want to be happy, i try to quell the inner disasters, the inner rioting.. but i just become electrocuted, its like nothing matters.. and im starting to feel so sick... nauseous ... i don't know if i can remain focused... im getting dizzy and feel like im going to puke you know... not like right now. i mean yes right now too, but i have been all morning...

im trying to calm down enough to call my case manager..