I'm not sure if the therapy I'm in now is the right one, but I don't really have the possibility here and now to change that. It's getting better though, I think. Also it is one of the rare constant elements lately in my life.
I have these very low periods like now but then usually it gets better.
I think, but now I don't care because I know that "better" is not actually good. But I guess something in me has this limitless optimism that's why I'm still alive. Yay. And because of my mother, she would be devastated and who am I to do this to people. How selfish it would be. But I can't just shake a magic wand and suddenly feel good. So I just wait but not sure for what.