Sadly, I think it is largely a matter of luck to find a therapist whose skills, abilities, temperament, etc. are a good match with what an individual needs. When I look back at the wasted years and time/money, I see that there was maybe very little chance of finding success in the therapist pool. I do consider myself lucky to have found the one I have now and I am so very sorry you didn't find one that you deserve.

I like the suggestion above o look at this in terms of your resilience. It's badly needed these days, all over the place.