I do too. But in order to get strong enough to try to do anything about any of that I feel like I have to accept the horribly unpleasant feeling/reality that I've been scammed. The naivete, vulnerability, neediness, weakness and psychological damage that other people had perpetrated on me before therapy. I need to accept what happened, because that's reality. I need to accept that's life. I need to accept, as BayBrony wrote


I've caused other people to suffer, too. Usually unintentionally, sometimes because the road to hell is paved with good (but unrealistic) intentions. In order to have a maybe realistic chance at affecting the organization of society toward something that causes less suffering, I need to accept reality as best I can. I need to accept it for me, too, in order to avoid as much additional suffering as I can.