Dear Smaug, 2, 3,

I don't know whether it's still the med withdrawal symptoms or whether the symptoms have just gotten me into a cycle of broodiness.

But something crystallized in my head tonight: why couldn't you believe me that I wasn't suicidal? I spent months taking medications as prescribed, I was upfront about whatever I was feeling that was self-destructive, I proved myself...but when the chips were down, you didn't believe me. You believed me - or maybe you were pretending, I dunno - about a horrific sex assault, why couldn't you believe I wasn't at risk, something much easier to believe?

ATAT (aka collateral damage)