This is an interesting post, here today. I'm sorry you have had these experiences. You don't really talk about how exactly you were not accepted though. In which way? Was it about specific features or a general, diffuse feedback?

I usually say to people that express similar sentiments that most often it's not that we are unacceptable, but that we trust, idealize and focus on the wrong people. Of course if it's coming from caregivers in childhood, that's a much tougher issue as there is little choice really. What I can share in that context is that I pretty much decided to detach myself from my mother at a very young age, like 4-5, and never truly engaged with her emotionally because we had very little in common. We got along okay and relatively peacefully but never had a close relationship. She criticized things, but from what I recall, it was more me not accepting her kind of love and care, refusing and rejecting her, up to the end of her life. A lot of that experience carried over into my subsequent relationships with females.

I tend to be extremely selective in who I trust and listen to, so this filters out a lot of the unwanted feedback. I also left therapists when I felt their approach had become too biased and skewed towards their expectations, then returned when I wanted to continue/hear what they had to say again. Some would describe this as resistance, and sometimes it can be, but often I think a good strategy. Not putting my self value dependent on them at all because I feel that therapy, and therapy relationships, are far too limited to reveal a whole, truly realistic picture about anyone. So I use Ts to address specific things, stuff where I trust their knowledge and skills, that's become my approach about it. And leave the rest. This is the result of experience though because in the beginning, when I first entered therapy, I thought I had a desire to share anything and everything with them. I actually figured I don't really have that desire after all.