This possibility scares the heck out of me (well, it scares more than that out of me but PC won't let me cuss)

What if I'm so accustomed to being depressed that NOT feeling depressed makes me uncomfortable?

What if I've been alone so long that I no longer want to be around other people?

What if I hate myself so much that any compliment given to me simply sounds like: "Good job! You ate almost all of your jello!" ?

What if I'm scared to try meds because i know they only make a chemical change in my brain but my life won't change one bit?

What if doing the things i want to do to make me happy will hurt other people and it's best if everybody else is happy instead of me ("the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one")?

What if I truly disappeared tomorrow?