I must admit that after everything, I'm torn as to whether to be the one to reach out or not. It's not a matter of pride or ego, as it might be in any other case, and simply a matter of what's best to do.

In any normal situation I know the answer is to leave it to her. Even with someone as stubborn as she can be. However, whilst she's done so before, it was after days, and not weeks, and the longer it goes on, the harder it will be for her. I have no idea how it makes her feel, but I know she can shut things out, and at least hide it, if she wants to.

One the one hand I'm encouraged by those who've said that someone similar might be pleasantly surprised when someone doesn't give up on them, despite being pushed away. She's convinced I can forget and move on quickly. Equally, I'm just as aware that, whilst persistence may be welcomed when it's wanted, it can be resented when it isn't.

On the plus side, I haven't actually done anything wrong, and feelings and attraction were still there, despite any confusion. I haven't pestered or chased, and have even tried to be understanding, even if that might have been misread. But, until she withdrew, we were getting on really well.

On the downside, I'm aware that if someone wants to bury any good feelings, they will focus on anything they can paint as negative.

So, the optimist in me hopes that persistence may pay off, but on more pessimistic days I assume she's found ways to see me in a negative light, in order to move on. That's normal for anyone, and fades quite quickly. With her it's faded within days in the past, but I have no idea if, or how long that might take now.

So, in reality it's all speculation, as she could welcome, resent, or be indifferent to any contact. All I know for certain is that we were on good terms and, without any bad behavior on either part, we're now not. I also know, with almost absolute certainty, that behind the barriers she put up, regardless of how she feels about trying again, those good feelings still exist.

I'm also aware that there's little or nothing I can do to bring down those barriers, that's up to her. All I can do is either hope she can overcome any fears if they do come down, or find a way to show her it's ok, if and when she feels ready.

So, I can't help feeling that last part is up to me. It's been four weeks since I last reached out and was ignored, so don't want to leave it too long, but don't want to act on impulse or impatience either.

It's funny. Usually I never give things such thought. If someone's confused, unsure, or just not interested, then I leave them to it. I can be cocky, arrogant, and even selfish, and so just move on if something isn't working. I'd even do so now if she said she's done, even if I knew it was in anger, as I've done so before. However, when you haven't been told, and your instincts and experience of that person tell you otherwise, it's hard to know whether those instincts are still accurate, or just hopeful optimism. Sure, I want it to work, but can walk away too, but would hate to give up on someone if underneath it all they didn't want me to.

I suppose really I'm just thinking aloud, and gathering my thoughts, based on what everyone has said. Ultimately I'm grateful that such a place exists, where I can not only do that, but also get the views, guidance and support of those with experience.

It helps enormously, not just in working out what to do or not do, but in helping me understand things more deeply, and appreciate how tough it can be for someone with such feelings and conflicts.