Quote:
Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind
Rose76, I really must ask you again if you have ever been in or been educated about controlling or abusive relationships?
Just bc she doesn't give "good examples" in YOUR opinion, does not mean they are the only examples. She was the one who said she felt he was being controlling n manipulative. Yes, he has the right to not let her touch his guitar or in his apartment - but how big of a change was this and why? Those are questions that would be indicative of control or not. She originally said she thought perhaps he was having an affair possibly - which I said was a possibility, but when she thought it over she thought it was more on the control n manipulation side. Why are you attempting to devalue her opinion on her situation?
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I disagree. The phrase abusive relationship is often misused and/or overly used and I find that there is a need to draw the line on what is actually abuse and what is just normal rules of living with another. I tend to agree with Rose on the statements that were made about all of the things he mentioned. The guitar and times she can come over. That isn't control. That's setting boundaries. It's quite dangerous to label such things as setting your own personal boundaries on your own times and valuables as control and especially potentially abusive.
There just isn't enough evidence here to pass judgment on this person.
On the question of cheating, I don't see enough evidence there to state that he's cheating on the poster either. It seems to me that there is a hint of insecurity on her part but nothing he's said is a glaring red flag that there is adultery present.
I honestly don't think that you should be considering staying with this person for life though, because clearly you're not secure in the relationship, for whatever reasons.