The sadness never went away for me but it did go from suicidal depression to just sadness. I still wish I could do what I used to do. But being on SSDI has let me be healthier than ever before. I managed to work with a lot of sedation but eventually a lot of sedation wasn't enough to control my mania/mixed episodes and I needed clozapine. No way could I work on clozapine. But it has given me a year without a major episode, something I didn't know was possible. So I'll choose clozapine over work any day, even though I wish I could work. I'm so thankful that I have SSDI as an option.