The reason for not taking medication is that the long term effects are unknown and i would like to live my life not hooked on drugs that change the chemical patterns of my brain in ways unknown to modern science - they know the effects of the drugs, but do not know ecxactly how the mechanism of action works or how the systems of your brain respond to this change in chemistry.

If the goal of medication is to numb you out for long enough to learn coping skills, is there reason why i cant learn these skills as im living my normal day to day life instead of applying these skills in a constant state of intoxication?

It seems counter productive to me of we are talking about changing behavior in day to day living to be high- i.e being regulated by external chemocals to survive - all the time. How is that any differemt from being an alcoholic getting over PTSD or being a depreesed and taking heroin to numb the pain.

It is not lack of wanting to get better. Its a lack of wanting tonbecome dependent on fairly expensive drugs- if i want drugs to solve my problems i can get my hamds on far more fun ones.