So, there wasn't abuse or control prior to the physical stuff, so it was "wrong" of me to warn of such, but later when the physical stuff arises then the warnings should be given?

I am really trying to understand this - because by my way of thinking by that time, it can be too late at times. Sometimes physical abuse never occurs. In my case, it did not but what did occur caused me to become unable to speak or control my movements for a few hours and after that I deteriorated psychologically into the mentality of a suicidal child with one small part that still wanted to save myself ... while he continued to laugh at me and tell me what a good actress I was.

Thank you for the words about my abuse. I survived it and grew stronger from it so it's okay. That does not mean I want to see others go through it. That's why I do what others did not for me, I listen to and validate those who say they feel controlled or abused. Can someone please explain to me why it is more important that the victim prove beyond a shadow of a doubt they are in fact being controlled or abused and that they did nothing to "deserve this" (which they often think they do anyway so proving that is next to impossible) in order to then "deserve" to be believed and helped, and why it usually has to be in crisis stage to get help? Please understand I am not getting upset at you these are sincere questions brought on by watching and experiencing a wide variety of people.