Hey Breezy... I'm trying to understand your feelings and circumstances more clearly...

Would you say that your 'loneliness' is more so rooted in the condition and experience of not having anyone in your life who truly understands you and who allows you to fully express and communicate what is present within you? In this context, a person can feel 'alone' in the sense that they are 'alone' with their thoughts & emotions (feelings) because no one else truly understands and acknowledges what that person is going through.

Now, there is also 'lonely' in the context of someone feeling totally isolated (physically, literally) from others and from meaningful contact/interactions with others. There is a natural human drive for experiencing 'connectedness' with others and when we experience prolonged isolation (either by our own doing or as a product of life circumstnaces), we can feel really cut off from that coveted 'connectedness', and this fuels our feelings of loneliness...

And I would say there is yet another context whereby our current and usual conscious state (state of being) could contain painful aspects/elements - and therefore the experience of being 'alone' tends to make us feel quite uncomfortable because we find that we have no one else to focus on and look upon but ourselves. No one to direct our perception towards other than our 'self'. Sometimes people feel they need to be surrounded by others in order to avoid ruminating on their own undesirable internal condition. This may alleviate ones hurting/suffering to a degree - but it won't address the true source of the ailment/affliction.

So if you wouldn't mind commenting some more about exactly what you feel you are experiencing - it may help me and others to respond in a more precise and appropriate manner.

And I just want to reiterate that how you find yourself feeling at this present time in your life experiece is NOT a permanent or fixed condition. It does not matter how long you have felt this way - I just want you to know that you are not 'stuck' feeling this way forever, and that you absolutely can experience uncovering and connecting with a deeper part of your 'self' that exists beyond and independent of the hurting that you've been experiencing up until this point. I do understand that what I've just communicated above may not feel truthful to you right now - but don't be surprised if somewhere down the road you find yourself discovering this for yourself, firsthand. Ultimately you are not these painful and challenging emotions that are present - you are just experiencing them. This is a very important distinction. The challenging feelings & mental thought-forms are like passing experiences - some just stay around longer than others... However truly your highest identity (sense of self) is not defined by the presence of these uncomfortable and undesirable mental/emotional states... There is a 'you' that exists above, beyond, and independent of them... They key is to begin uncovering and increasingly connecting with that transcendental aspect of 'you', and that is how you end up breaking free from your former condition and ultimately end up freeing (liberating) yourself...