So I'm a guy. An old guy (57). Which means the textbooks say i shouldn't have an ED. However, i wonder if what I'm doing to myself is a form of self harm. I'm not cutting, that seems to be a young person thing. But i've been starving myself on purpose. I weigh myself every Wednesday at 10am and tomorrow i hope to have lost a few more pounds this past week. I've dropped and for some reason unknown to me I'd like to go still lower.

I'm not doing this for any body image reasons ... i don't care what i look like (that's probably from the depression).

I think maybe perhaps possibly I'm doing this to slowly destroy myself. Maybe I'll finally be successful at something.

I told my T last week about losing the weight so we will see if this week she brings it up. Sometimes i think i overwhelm her.

Thanks for listening. I know there isn't really a question in here. Today was a really bad day and i guess i needed to vent.