Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me
Good questions and I do hear what you are saying, one survivor to another.
Considering how the court system is set up, I believe that it's really valid to get the victim to truly believe it for what it is-abuse and convince a court and society that these are not "manufactured" claims. I lived through 3 various attempts to get a restraining order beyond the emergency status. The 3rd stuck, he was also facing criminal charges by the district attorney's office at that time.
I think it's fair to ask someone to slow down on being quick to label, after all, recovering from domestic violence is as much about looking at yourself, how do you get here and how to stay out of these scenarios in the future as pointing fingers, not that victims should not be given ample support and validation as well as encouragement to call a hotline and establish a safety plan.
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I do agree with what you are saying about the victim needing to figure out how he or she ended up in the situation - but I also think it's harder for the victim to do that when he or she ends up needing to defend herself or himself not only against the abuser but against society at large. It makes a person need to be "steel" in order to survive long enough to get out - and once out - learning to be "flexible" and consider that not only do you now have freedom n may make mistakes - but that you somehow contributed to landing yourself in the situation you barely scraped out of, is enough to almost drive you mad.
If there was more acceptance in the forefront, healing may be easier and more complete later.
Wouldn't you think?