T told me recently that she has gotten engaged. I had such a strong reaction. I managed to keep it together and just said congratulations. Moments later she left the room briefly and I started crying.

Although it's nothing to do with me or any of my business. It hurt on so many levels. It was painful to think about T and her partner. I don't like to think about it, it reminds me of restrictions of our relationship.

Lately there have been a lot of changes. I've been feeling insecure and a fear of abandonment. I feel like this engagement is just the start of the impending doom.

I thought about whether T will have children now. At first I was sad thinking this meant she would be away for a long time. Then I felt this anger and jealously. My inner child was playing up.

I don't know what to do really. For the first few days I couldn't stop thinking about it. I've been keeping busy so it's gradually getting better.

I'm scared to be honest and talk about it with T because I'm so ashamed and I feel so pathetic. I rationally understand that I pay to see a professional, and that is all the relationship is. It's the emotions involved that strip back any logical thinking.

I feel weird about saying I'm upset about her personal life.