Good luck with everything...

I get exactly where you're coming from and even though I'm not even in your shoes yet, the future seems so intimidating in retrospect. And sometimes I think we don't want to do things just to do them, we want a purpose and if that purpose isn't set in stone (like a solid foundation for a good future) we lose that motivation and it all goes downhill.

You'll find your purpose. If things don't go right for you this time around and you have to settle, just look at it as you getting an opportunity to think things through. With every door that closes, doors still open. At least there's that much.

This isn't something you can't fix, whether it be now or at a later time. Just keep that in mind and try to keep your head up and once you've taken your test, try to not dwell. Things will run its course and its no point in further stressing yourself over something already done.

My inbox is open if you ever feel you want to talk though, I know exactly where you stand but the only way to really keep your head above water is to have hope that somehow things will look up. Even if it takes time, it'll happen.