Thanks krazibean, jacq, perna, and sister.

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jacq10 said:
That must be frustrating for you not to have your T call back ...

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Not really. I actually don't care. I feel OK. It is so typical of him, it almost makes me smile, much as one might roll their eyes at the repeated and predictable antics of a charming, but irresponsible young boy. I will just do my best with the situation I have been given. I think next time he says he will call me, I'll just say teasingly, no you won't, and we'll be done with that fiction.

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Maybe you weren't suppose to talk with your T about this legal thing because it was something that you were suppose to initiate control over yourself?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Actually, he should know about this thing so he can better support me at the legal meetings, and he has said several times he wants us to discuss this in session. But since he doesn't know and can't make time for this right now in my therapy, I will have to exert more control in the upcoming legal meetings to make sure these particular topics don't come up until I've had a chance to go through this with him in therapy. It will be hard, and just one more thing on my plate at the meetings, but it's all I can do, given the hand of I've been dealt. I will ask for my lawyer's help with this.

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I try and think of everything as happening for a reason - the good, bad, and the ugly

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I think you are right, jacq. I like your philosophy.

sister, it is a coincidence you bring up When Things Fall Apart because I just bought that when I was at the bookstore yesterday! I've previously read Chodron's, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times, and really liked it, so when I saw the other book yesterday, I bought it too.

One of the things T said to me in our last session was "I think you're very scared." I think he's right. I wish we had discussed it, but no time. I would be interested to know what he thinks I am scared of. I think I am scared of a few things. And I wonder if at least in part my fear is somehow unconsciously driving me to exagerate problems to derail the legal process. I wish I could explore this idea with T.

Another thing T said when I was telling him about the things this guy I was angry at had done that I found unacceptable was that "it sounds like you want so-and-so to be more like me." I just shook my head and dismissed that comment. Pfffttt! It was annoying! It's not all about you, T! I want my T to be my T, not other people to be like him. I want the guy I'm having problems with simply to be courteous, professional, responsible, and unbiased. It doesn't seem too much to ask, especially when I am paying him a high hourly rate. I guess I was trying to have this business-oriented conversation with T on professional standards of conduct, and he tried to turn it into something personal, about our relationship, and that was not what I wanted at all! (Ha, me, turn down a chance to talk to T about our wonderful relationship? I must be running a fever.) I think that's partly why he reached for me as I was leaving so we could hug. T, trying desperately to reconnect with angry, angry sunny...