Ok, so I'm really happy, and I just wanted to tell someone.

I've been depressed many times over the years, and I've refused to get help. Yeah, I know, that was stupid of me. I figured I could "treat" it on my own. And I did....to an extent. I learned to stop the depressive thoughts. However, I was still apathetic about everything, and I had no energy whatsoever. In a sense, I was depressed without depressive thoughts.

So, I came to the conclusion that no amount of therapy could remedy the hypersomnia, fatigue, and apathy. I realized that the problem really was biological (I have a family history too). I finally told my GP. I figured the doc would prescribe sertraline. The doctor actually recommended Celexa, but after we had a long chat, she switched it to Bupropion HCL, 300mg. (A brilliant choice considering SSRIs cause fatigue, and NDRIs actually boost energy.)

SInce then, I've seen so many positive things happen:
- I have the energy to actually do things (i.e. cooking, exercise)
- I'm no longer dependent on Caffeine
- My video game addiction stopped (apparently this is a common symptom of male depression)
- I actually smile every now and then
- I sleep 7-8 hours instead of 11-13
- I don't feel like a complete wreck anymore
- I'm not totally anti-social anymore

I guess I just feel "normal" again. More than anything, I'm happy that I actually decided to take care of myself. Plus, I'm glad I found a doctor that I can actually discuss medications with. (Instead of the typical 'throw everything at the wall and see what sticks' approach) It's really a relief considering that the depression was starting to really mess up my life.

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones that found quick relief, and I'm not ashamed of the medication either (I thought I would be). It's actually made me realize that the depression was probably beyond my control. After all, should someone suffering from diabetes-mellitus feel ashamed for taking insulin? I guess I see it as more of a tool for treatment than a crutch to lean on.

Ok, that's my rant, and here's the moral:
If you think you're depressed, get treatment. There's no shame in using modern medicine to help you feel good. You deserve to be happy. (It took me 4 years to realize that)