No, you are the good one. You know yourself much better than I know myself.

But your "alternative" will cause much collateral damage. Easy for you but damaging to your loved ones and even those you don't know at all....I hope you can understand that.

I used to fantasize about just driving...as fast as possible. I got a thrill from thinking about not caring. In those fleeting moments of fantasy (I don't indulge too much....it seems that I'm not allowed to, even sub-consciously!)...in those moments...the 'not caring' was the very best part...
The feeling was similar to when I was younger and mortality was the last thing on my mind. As if death COULDN'T happen to me. Worry certainly is limited when you don't consider consequences...

Anyway. Yes. Getting away would seem to be a good thing for you.
A very wise man I know is going on a retreat to a monastery. I like the idea. A person feels relief when choices are removed by someone else. It's liberating to be freed from your responsibilities in this manner.

I think that's the sort of break we need, maybe.