Thanks again, that's an interesting point.

There always was an element of push pull, but it was mild, and went both ways. I think we both enjoyed an element of distance, but also the closeness that was always there too.

In many ways, her fears of abandonment were far stronger than those of commitment. It showed at times, but mostly she would push for commitment and enjoy closeness.

Ironically, the phone call was taken as a big push on my part, which blew things apart totally. In fairness to me, it was in response to her withdrawing, but she may not even have realised it, and I should have just ridden it out a little longer, as we were at least still communicating on good terms. Still, hindsight's a wonderful thing, but gets me nowhere now.

I'll also admit that I've become far more aware of such things since we split, and have a good grasp now on what to discuss and how to manage things. But of course that relies on being in the relationship.

In truth, I know I want it, and I even know she wanted it up until the last push, but is now withdrawn. Given that the anger was still there when we met yesterday, there's nothing I can do anyway till it subsides. The fact we spoke may be a catalyst to communication, or may just harden her resolve.

Like I said, I need to think before deciding anything, and if I still want it after that I'll drop her an email and see what happens.