Seraph,

I know exactlly where you are coming from it has taken me almost ten years to get the help I needed and the loss of my family almost. Once I hit rock bottom and was forced to get help things started to turn around for me. The thing I was worried about was the thought of seeming weak. Like I said once I was forced to confront my problem I started to see that the anger and frustration that I felt was coming from the depression. Like you I have a history of depression and I think that some of the people close to me in my family are the same way yet they fail to recognize it. You are right it is an illness and something that does need to be treated with the proper medication. When I thought that something was going on with me before I went and saw a PDOC and she tried telling me that I was ADHD, however I knew this was wrong and she wanted to put me on the drugs for that. This would have been gross negligance on her part if she had and I had an even worse reaction. So having a doc that is willing to talk to you about your meds and what they are doing for you is great. I am very happy myself now even though I am separated from my family, I still get sad because I don't get to see my wife and kids, but not like before. Anytime you want to PM please feel free.

Dragon