Hello azu-nyan: I don't know as there is really a lot I can offer here. But I noticed no one had replied to your post. So I thought I would.

Buddhist literature stresses that we can learn to be with strong emotions of whatever type, without being knocked off balance. In other words, we can learn to sit with such things as intrusive thoughts, compulsions, negative feelings, etc. without being carried away by them. From this perspective, as the Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön has written, those things we most dislike about ourselves are actually our treasure.

I struggle with a lot of intrusive thoughts. And in an effort to not be carried away by them, I employ a Buddhist practice referred to as compassionate abiding. It may or may not be something that will work for you. But here's a link to a mental health oriented description of the practice:

https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/

May it be of benefit.